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This is such a wonderful piece. I deeply resonate with so much of it, but especially:

“I have zero evidence for what I’m about to say. It’s just a feeling. And the feeling is this: That at some point – maybe in this life, or at the moment of death, and maybe even post-death – things will make some kind of sense.”

I hope for something like this (though the degree to which I’m convinced of it waxes and wanes depending on the day/my mood/whether I've eaten recently). What I know for sure is that lucid, honest writing like yours offers us moments of cosmic clarity; we might not see the whole picture, but important segments are illuminated. Thanks for creating a little bit of sense out of the great and senseless chaos.

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