How are we to fully accept and surrender to reality as it is without being cold, callous, or indifferent to the vastness of the suffering around us and within us?
This resonates deeply with me because I’ve try to lived my life with the same motto. I don’t mind what happens.’ Not in a detached or indifferent way, but in the sense of surrendering to reality instead of constantly fighting it. I’ve learned that resisting what is only leads to suffering, while acceptance brings clarity and peace. It doesn’t mean I don’t care or take action, but that I approach life from a place of stillness rather than chaos.
One of the reasons I left Instagram was because I saw so much of that craving and aversion you described, people consumed by outrage, demanding others choose a side or be cast out. It felt like an endless war of opinions, where peace and nuance had no place. I wanted to step away from that noise and live more in alignment with what truly matters.
Thank you, dear ol Kenyon classmate, for one of the best museletters I've read (or perhaps it just arrived in my inbox exactly when I needed to hear ALL of this today). AND THAT ELLEN BASS POEM. Congratulations on everything, Josh. May we all give ourselves permission to celebrate, love, and connect with collective joy even while hanging on a vine between two tigers that is being gnawed on by mice.
your insights are like a glass of cold water. I REALLY needed to hear this.
practicing the “middle-way” and sitting with my uncomfortability, while still holding space for heart-breaking compassion has been incredibly challenging in light of recent political events. if we want to see the change, we need to be the change.
Dude. This is great. Thank you for your writing, your service, your unexpectedly disarming vulnerability.
“The clouds of history tend to darken with great regularity yet history keeps chugging along.” 😮💨 whew. Powerful truth
“How then does a quiet mind benefit us in a world this hurting and in need of repair? Maybe it’s in the deepest spaces of contemplation that we receive the best direction, the clearest, most efficient cosmic marching orders. Perhaps wisdom is bequeathed only to those who are still enough to receive it. A person with a quiet mind is not passive, but rather active in the kindest, highest, most effective ways.” AmenRa
Constellations on the vipassana completion. I just finished three days of silent retreat at Gaia House in the UK and I look forward (?) to a ten day experience but yeah…unexpectedly challenging yet beautiful experience.
Wow, Brought me back 10 years to my only 10 day silent meditation. It was the most difficult internal experience for me - about day 4 I thought I would run away - It felt like knives slicing my heart. PHEW! On the Not minding what happens - this aligns with the philosophy of Wu Wei (无为) in Daoism—effortless action in harmony with the natural flow of life. In Chinese medicine It also resonates with Liver Qi flow, as emotional flexibility and non-resistance prevent Qi stagnation, which is often a root cause of stress, frustration, and physical tension. In practice, cultivating this mindset can support emotional well-being, reducing the internal conflicts that contribute to imbalance. It encourages Shen (Spirit) clarity, ensuring the Heart and Liver remain in harmony.
It’s uncomfortable right now to stand in the middle, to admit uncertainty, to pause. What I see here from my perch near Washington D.C. is damage that transcends ideology and the choosing of sides.
This line stayed with me: “The wise ‘don’t mind’ with great and compassionate purpose.” That’s the paradox, isn’t it? Accepting reality fully—not because we’re numb to suffering, but because that very surrender makes us more useful in the face of it.
Your Vipassana story reminded me of my own panic attacks. How, like you, I discovered that breath was the only rope out. No hero’s rescue. No external fix. Just presence.
And yes—outrage can become its own form of craving. I’ve seen people weaponize grief or justice into exclusion. But peace that arises from stillness… that’s rare and revolutionary.
Thank you for this. It didn’t just speak to me—it softened me.
The mind is a time traveler, the body is always present.
Your experience is so similar to they way I find myself when I wake up in the middle of the night. I know it is a hormone thing that will one day pass. Placing myself in my body is the only way out of that spiral of unhelpful thoughts that seems to arise in the night when I have lost the energy to distract my mind.
Hi, Josh✨ This comment turned into a mini essay, but I wanted to share my perspective. You wrote that anger has its place, but the overall message still felt like a condemnation of anger. I think it’s counterproductive to characterize anger—or any particular feeling for that matter—as negative or ineffectual in some way. Anger is not the problem. The problem is usually how someone (mis)handles their anger.
As so many oppressed groups are directly threatened day in and day out, we cannot shy away from anger, the righteous anger we feel in response to immense injustice. Anger in response to mistreatment is valuable, human, important. And it often gives the underdog the strength to keep fighting. Anger can bring people together in shared struggle. Anger doesn't have to mean fighting; it might just mean standing up for yourself or someone else.
Until a few months ago, I was VERY uncomfortable with anger. If I got angry, I felt guilty (even if I didn’t say or do much) because I felt like I was attacking the other person (even if I wasn’t the instigator). I was taught that anger meant yelling and yelling was a sin. I pushed anger away, which just made me nauseous and sweaty. Recently, though, my therapist helped reframe anger for me—in passing, I said I didn’t want to be angry AT a family member. My therapist clarified that you don’t get angry AT someone else. You essentially get angry on your own behalf. This stopped me dead in my tracks. While anger should not be left unchecked in the driver's seat, it serves an important purpose.
There’s an app I’ve been using called Ahead, which advertises itself as a “DuoLingo for Emotional Regulation.” They have a course on anger, and they describe it as a “secondary emotion,” which means you never JUST get angry; there is *always* an underlying emotion that triggers the anger. The trick is becoming aware of that and understanding your anger, as well as the physical sensations in the body that coincide with anger. Anger often begins stirring before you realize, intellectually, that a boundary of yours has been crossed or your feelings have been hurt. All kinds of feelings, anger among them, can make us act in ways we might regret. With self awareness and emotional regulation, though, I think anger could be key to liberation and peace. Dirtbags don't get a monopoly on anger! They can throw the fits and lash out when they don’t get their way. We can learn to acknowledge the root of our anger and find the solutions there that will lead to collective healing. We cannot pick our feelings, but we can learn to respond to and move through our feelings in healthier ways. I think that thought is similar to the ideas you wrote about here.
My experience developing emotional regulation skills after 30 years of repression has been a lot like that night of panic you described on your silent retreat. Big, scary, confusing feelings come up, and I want to suppress them. I want to run away, ignore it. That’s how I was raised. If I stay and breathe and allow the feelings to wash over me, though, I find that peace. If I explore the feelings, even when it hurts, I arrive at that calm. Peace like WOAH. It has moved me to tears just feeling it all finally. When I process my anger, if it is something “righteous,” I have found I can still access it later. I’m just no longer overwhelmed and reactive. When I’m calm AND angry, I feel powerful and hopeful, connected to those around me. And most importantly, I know where to direct my anger rather than misfiring left and right.
I am so happy I signed up for these! It reminds me of the way the universe takes care of me. I could never have known that binge watching a sitcom and binge eating late at night, apparently ruining my life, years ago was actually seeds planted for me to get the best advice I could've gotten in this confusing time in my life.
I've been practicing martial arts pretty much my entire life, and this concept of 'impermanence" kinda surrounds the whole community, I think mostly because of the chinese/japanese traditions and religions, I've been known for being a very calm person my entire life, my bit of knowledge (if I may), is that I always find myself choosing what to care more than letting 'the world' choose for me, hope it helps :)
Radical acceptance is the hardest and most important tool that i practice and teach. You did such a beautiful job exploring it here, thank you! I hope you inspire many to start their own exploration!
This resonates deeply with me because I’ve try to lived my life with the same motto. I don’t mind what happens.’ Not in a detached or indifferent way, but in the sense of surrendering to reality instead of constantly fighting it. I’ve learned that resisting what is only leads to suffering, while acceptance brings clarity and peace. It doesn’t mean I don’t care or take action, but that I approach life from a place of stillness rather than chaos.
One of the reasons I left Instagram was because I saw so much of that craving and aversion you described, people consumed by outrage, demanding others choose a side or be cast out. It felt like an endless war of opinions, where peace and nuance had no place. I wanted to step away from that noise and live more in alignment with what truly matters.
Thank you, dear ol Kenyon classmate, for one of the best museletters I've read (or perhaps it just arrived in my inbox exactly when I needed to hear ALL of this today). AND THAT ELLEN BASS POEM. Congratulations on everything, Josh. May we all give ourselves permission to celebrate, love, and connect with collective joy even while hanging on a vine between two tigers that is being gnawed on by mice.
Really loved, loved today’s missive. Thank you, Josh.
your insights are like a glass of cold water. I REALLY needed to hear this.
practicing the “middle-way” and sitting with my uncomfortability, while still holding space for heart-breaking compassion has been incredibly challenging in light of recent political events. if we want to see the change, we need to be the change.
Awesome stuff Josh <3
Dude. This is great. Thank you for your writing, your service, your unexpectedly disarming vulnerability.
“The clouds of history tend to darken with great regularity yet history keeps chugging along.” 😮💨 whew. Powerful truth
“How then does a quiet mind benefit us in a world this hurting and in need of repair? Maybe it’s in the deepest spaces of contemplation that we receive the best direction, the clearest, most efficient cosmic marching orders. Perhaps wisdom is bequeathed only to those who are still enough to receive it. A person with a quiet mind is not passive, but rather active in the kindest, highest, most effective ways.” AmenRa
Constellations on the vipassana completion. I just finished three days of silent retreat at Gaia House in the UK and I look forward (?) to a ten day experience but yeah…unexpectedly challenging yet beautiful experience.
Lastly, I think you might like this!: https://genekeys.com/pulse/55-freedom-2025/
Peace & Blessings,
M
Wow, Brought me back 10 years to my only 10 day silent meditation. It was the most difficult internal experience for me - about day 4 I thought I would run away - It felt like knives slicing my heart. PHEW! On the Not minding what happens - this aligns with the philosophy of Wu Wei (无为) in Daoism—effortless action in harmony with the natural flow of life. In Chinese medicine It also resonates with Liver Qi flow, as emotional flexibility and non-resistance prevent Qi stagnation, which is often a root cause of stress, frustration, and physical tension. In practice, cultivating this mindset can support emotional well-being, reducing the internal conflicts that contribute to imbalance. It encourages Shen (Spirit) clarity, ensuring the Heart and Liver remain in harmony.
It’s uncomfortable right now to stand in the middle, to admit uncertainty, to pause. What I see here from my perch near Washington D.C. is damage that transcends ideology and the choosing of sides.
This line stayed with me: “The wise ‘don’t mind’ with great and compassionate purpose.” That’s the paradox, isn’t it? Accepting reality fully—not because we’re numb to suffering, but because that very surrender makes us more useful in the face of it.
Your Vipassana story reminded me of my own panic attacks. How, like you, I discovered that breath was the only rope out. No hero’s rescue. No external fix. Just presence.
And yes—outrage can become its own form of craving. I’ve seen people weaponize grief or justice into exclusion. But peace that arises from stillness… that’s rare and revolutionary.
Thank you for this. It didn’t just speak to me—it softened me.
Wise musings. Thank you for that 🌿
The mind is a time traveler, the body is always present.
Your experience is so similar to they way I find myself when I wake up in the middle of the night. I know it is a hormone thing that will one day pass. Placing myself in my body is the only way out of that spiral of unhelpful thoughts that seems to arise in the night when I have lost the energy to distract my mind.
Hi, Josh✨ This comment turned into a mini essay, but I wanted to share my perspective. You wrote that anger has its place, but the overall message still felt like a condemnation of anger. I think it’s counterproductive to characterize anger—or any particular feeling for that matter—as negative or ineffectual in some way. Anger is not the problem. The problem is usually how someone (mis)handles their anger.
As so many oppressed groups are directly threatened day in and day out, we cannot shy away from anger, the righteous anger we feel in response to immense injustice. Anger in response to mistreatment is valuable, human, important. And it often gives the underdog the strength to keep fighting. Anger can bring people together in shared struggle. Anger doesn't have to mean fighting; it might just mean standing up for yourself or someone else.
Until a few months ago, I was VERY uncomfortable with anger. If I got angry, I felt guilty (even if I didn’t say or do much) because I felt like I was attacking the other person (even if I wasn’t the instigator). I was taught that anger meant yelling and yelling was a sin. I pushed anger away, which just made me nauseous and sweaty. Recently, though, my therapist helped reframe anger for me—in passing, I said I didn’t want to be angry AT a family member. My therapist clarified that you don’t get angry AT someone else. You essentially get angry on your own behalf. This stopped me dead in my tracks. While anger should not be left unchecked in the driver's seat, it serves an important purpose.
There’s an app I’ve been using called Ahead, which advertises itself as a “DuoLingo for Emotional Regulation.” They have a course on anger, and they describe it as a “secondary emotion,” which means you never JUST get angry; there is *always* an underlying emotion that triggers the anger. The trick is becoming aware of that and understanding your anger, as well as the physical sensations in the body that coincide with anger. Anger often begins stirring before you realize, intellectually, that a boundary of yours has been crossed or your feelings have been hurt. All kinds of feelings, anger among them, can make us act in ways we might regret. With self awareness and emotional regulation, though, I think anger could be key to liberation and peace. Dirtbags don't get a monopoly on anger! They can throw the fits and lash out when they don’t get their way. We can learn to acknowledge the root of our anger and find the solutions there that will lead to collective healing. We cannot pick our feelings, but we can learn to respond to and move through our feelings in healthier ways. I think that thought is similar to the ideas you wrote about here.
My experience developing emotional regulation skills after 30 years of repression has been a lot like that night of panic you described on your silent retreat. Big, scary, confusing feelings come up, and I want to suppress them. I want to run away, ignore it. That’s how I was raised. If I stay and breathe and allow the feelings to wash over me, though, I find that peace. If I explore the feelings, even when it hurts, I arrive at that calm. Peace like WOAH. It has moved me to tears just feeling it all finally. When I process my anger, if it is something “righteous,” I have found I can still access it later. I’m just no longer overwhelmed and reactive. When I’m calm AND angry, I feel powerful and hopeful, connected to those around me. And most importantly, I know where to direct my anger rather than misfiring left and right.
I am so happy I signed up for these! It reminds me of the way the universe takes care of me. I could never have known that binge watching a sitcom and binge eating late at night, apparently ruining my life, years ago was actually seeds planted for me to get the best advice I could've gotten in this confusing time in my life.
I thank God and I thank you. 😊
I've been practicing martial arts pretty much my entire life, and this concept of 'impermanence" kinda surrounds the whole community, I think mostly because of the chinese/japanese traditions and religions, I've been known for being a very calm person my entire life, my bit of knowledge (if I may), is that I always find myself choosing what to care more than letting 'the world' choose for me, hope it helps :)
This was a salve for my soul. Thank you ❤️
Radical acceptance is the hardest and most important tool that i practice and teach. You did such a beautiful job exploring it here, thank you! I hope you inspire many to start their own exploration!